TGIT - Women on Top!

A recent journalist posed the thought that it is remarkable that Viola Davis has not been recognized for her acting ability before "How to Get Away With Murder." Ahem...Viola Davis did not become a consummate actor with the debut of "...Murder.."  The real story is that this incredible woman has been discounted because she didn't have the look that the money men believed could make them even more money.  Imagine their shock, which they're probably still in when Shonda Rhimes, a woman, bent reality (their reality, not ours) by penning the blockbuster, "Grey's Anatomy." Yes, a fe-male brought them salivating to the bank week after week after week.

With all of those dollars rolling in from "Grey's...", the money men could only see green, period; so when Ms. Rhimes began to cast actors who had the chops to deliver her vision, the outside of those actors meant next to nothing.  So enter Kerry Washington as Olivia Pope, and now Viola Davis as Annalise Keating. Neither of these women in powerful starring roles fit the previous mold of leading women, and I think that most of us are so happy to see women who look like the rest of us, being judged on the talent that they bring to a project rather than solely on their exteriors.  The clothing and handbags (be still, my heart!) are mind-blowing and I have to nearly physically restrain myself to stay off the Coach.com site, but the show's characters are still relatable because they are not those superficial versions of perfect that we have been spoon-fed for far too long.

Granted, we all enjoy looking at something good (think Denzel Washington), but there has to be something deeper than that to hold my attention; an actor appealing to my idea of Fine is just an added bonus.  I am after all more than a slack-jawed, drooling idiot (yes, I know that idiot-box is another name for the television set). I watch television and movies for entertainment yes, but life is filled with a myriad of colors, shapes, sizes, values, et al; so it's much more than refreshing to find my foray into fictionland peopled with regular characters.

An Attitude of Gratitude

Hello Friends. It's another suck-y day in the part of my world that is Lupus, but as I stumbled about in my backyard getting some fresh air...yes, I said stumbled, because sometimes my balance is affected because of a bit of brain inflammation (it's called cerebritis); and when that is going on, it's safer to remain inside of the fence while I inhale the fresh air and enjoy the flowers that are still blooming even though it's the middle of October (yay!).

Anyway, I sat down (actually, sorta fell down) on the deck bench and was about to break into the ugly cry (y'all know what I'm talkin' about!)  because I was thinking how terrible it was that I was imprisoned in the backyard and not able to take a nice stroll through my beautiful neighborhood. 

Then I had a Full Stop moment because it hit me how very fortunate I am that I can easily breathe in the fresh air and my eyes can revel in the colorful flowers and the varied greens of the trees and bushes.   There are people who are unable to walk (even if it's a stumble) around in their yard; people who don't even have a nice yard to enjoy.   And though my eyesight is not always crystal clear,  it's a temporary thing that eventually passes, but there are those who are permanently in the dark or moving through a world that is a total blur.  If I could give this Lupus back to from whence it came, I would do so in a New York minute, but I'm going to try very hard to remember that my life is in many ways so much better than those of far too many others in the world.  When I find that I'm feeling sorry for myself because I've had to cancel my USO volunteer shift yet again due to Ms. Lupus deciding to be the boss of me that day or week, I will give myself permission to have a very short pity party, then put on my big girl knickers  and accomplish whatever it is that I can do at that particular time, even though it's only catching up with the DVR recordings of the television programs,  "Scandal" or "How To Get Away With Murder." We can put the older seasons of "Criminal Minds" in the queue, too, but this Season 10 is a big thumbs down, so far.

Anyhoo, there is always going to be something that isn't going to plan for each of us at one time or another, but we can choose to take stock and see what is going well and focus on that. There is usually more to smile about than there is to cry about.  We just don't focus enough attention on those things that are the everyday, and intentionally acknowledge that they are worth being grateful for. 

Challenge yourself to count your blessings rather than what you consider to be your curses, and I'll bet you'll be surprised that the former far outnumber the latter.

Thanks for hanging out with me for a few minutes, and I hope that you enjoy the heck out of your weekend!

Be well and stay fabulous!

Sickness Sucks/Same Old Song

     It's a brand new day, but it's the same ol' body with the same ol' pain, courtesy of Lupus stalking my body like a hungry lion, or a ravenous sharp toothed wolf for whom this cruel disease is named.  So it's another day of watching crime shows, "Criminal Minds," and "Stalker" being my current favorites.  Oh, almost forgot "Mysteries of Laura."  Thank goodness for good television programming.  Then, when I really want to get all dark and twisty, I pull up "Luther" on Amazon Prime.
     Spent part of last evening emailing five national newspapers with a plea-blurb re Lupus awareness and the need for funding research.  We need to develop medications geared specifically for Lupus. Of all the medications prescribed for Lupus, only one (Benlysta)  was actually developed for Lupus, and some insurance companies won't even cover it!  It has also been discovered that Benlysta doesn't seem to be effective in people of color, so clinical trials are being held, but not in nearly enough locations. Just for your edification, the medications currently used for Lupus are ones developed for other diseases and are often ineffective or just barely effective, with horrible side effects, but we keep taking them because we Lupies are an ever optimistic lot.  The vast majority of Lupus patients are female. Do we have a bit of sexism going on here? Many of us truly believe that if such a devastating disease was striking men down, no devil in hell with all of his minions could have kept development of Lupus-specific medicines and a laser focused search for a cure from happening.
    I have to go now, but in the immortal words of the Terminator, "I'll be back."  By the by, I've run out of Deathwish coffee and the Starbucks just ain't cuttin' it today. Gonna try some Chai Latte, just for something different.  Hopefully, it might do something good.  Send me a few good vibes, won't you?
Be well and stay fabulous!

Narrow Foot Discrimination

Do you have narrow feet, or do you know someone who has narrow feet?  I'd be willing to bet that you do...  and believe me, the frustration level is high when it comes to cute shoes!

I was born with narrow feet; in fact, have a AAAA heel, so even a narrow pump is out of the question for me unless I want to pay squillions of dollars for it.  But back to the issue of cute shoes and the blatant discrimination against those of us for whom a Medium (apparently the "norm") requires us to wear super-thick socks; but who wants to wear super-thick socks unless the footwear is a boot or bootie?  Yes, I suppose I could include loafers and other assorted flats in that category, but why can't I get a flat that will fit my naked or tights-encased foot without again paying slightly less than squillions?  I revel in my uniqueness, but I want to be able to wear the cute shoes that are available to the masses, too!!  Wah-wah-wah!!

This discussion was brought about when I received an absolutely passion inducing catalog from Aerosoles in today's mail.  Ooohh, the footwear sashaying across the pages caused my salivary glands to spring into action (and that takes some doing when you suffer from Lupus-induced dry mouth)!  But.  Every single pair is sized Medium and/or Wide -- AARGH!!  Torture me, why don't you?  And I really need another pair of black flats.  And there are some really cute ones in the Aerosoles catalog, but THEY WON'T FIT MY FOOT!!


Now, I know that shoe stores like Payless and Thom McAn (does Thom McAn still exist?) depend on volume and sell at low prices, so have no interest in catering to what is probably considered a "niche consumer" in the shoe industry, but Aerosoles shoes are not exactly cheap.  You do have to spend more than a couple of bucks for their product and I am accustomed to paying more for narrow shoes (though it is unfair), so what's the deal?  I can guarantee that my feet are not the only slim ones in America.

Maybe we should rise up and mount a campaign...take to the streets... Down with fascist shoe sellers and all that.  Drop me a line, you like-footed people and sympathizers.  Let's see if we can force the shoe industry to mend their ways and solve this problem.

Shoe equality for all, I say!

Loving Each Other

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgsIGEm3f7w

Let's Talk About Race, Baby

I just finished watching the movie, "Fruitvale Station," which is about the actual occurrence of a  young Black man being killed on a subway train in San Francisco/Oakland, California a few years ago. The BART officer who murdered Oscar Grant III at Fruitvale Station On New Year's Day 2008, claimed that he "mistook" his gun for his taser.  WTF????!!!!  He was ultimately convicted of involuntary manslaughter and sentenced to 3 years, and released after 11 momths!!

Okay, I'm just gonna say it...if Oscar Grant had been a young white man -- first of all, that whole scene wouldn't have gone down if Oscar hadn't been a young black man -- but let's say hypothetically that it would have, Oscar would not have been murdered that night.

Some folks get all up in arms and start throwing around accusations about Black people attributing everything to race, but let's be real, sometimes that's exactly what it is. All we have to do is look at the evidence; and more evidence; and yet more evidence.  My question is, "Why do some Whites immediately jump to the conclusion that upon encountering Black men (or women) in possibly uncomfortable situations, that the Black person must be killed and/or maimed?"  I'm reminded of the guy recently convicted in Florida who shot and killed a young man over some loud music and his excuse was that he thought the kid had a gun. (Anyone remember Trayvon Martin?)  Thank goodness, this guy was found guilty. Then there was the guy in Charlotte, NC who shot a woman banging on his door because she had been injured in a car crash and needed medical assistance.  No questions asked, just BLAM!  And these are just two incidents that I'm naming; you know of others if you're honest with yourself and have been paying attention. Tell me this:  Why must seeing a Black face equal fear for one's life?  A number of Black people have been lynched by White people, but when I see a White person, my subconscious doesn't automatically jump to the thought, "Oh gee, White person...I am in danger of losing my life at the end of a rope." Think about it.

Oh yes, I can just hear the angry voices now, including those of some of my friends who happen to be of the Caucasian Persuasion; but folks, we can't keep trying to sweep this stuff under the rug or pretending that racism isn't still a reality in this country.  Yes, things are better than they were in my parent's day and when I was growing up, but there is still far too much systemic racism in America.  There are still too many people who are surprised when they encounter a Black person who is intelligent and well-spoken.  It's an uncomfortable subject, I get that; but discomfort is a piss-poor reason to continue to give tacit approval to something that is so very wrong on every level.  If not now, when?  If not you, who? 

When President Obama was elected, it was suggested that we were now a post-racial country.  Wrong answer.  One of the first things that happened was that the Congress boldly stated that its primary goal was to make sure that nothing this President put forth got passed, and it wasn't because of his political party, it was because of the color of his skin.  Yes, I know that he is half-White, but for those of you who are unschooled, there has always been a "one drop rule" in play in the USA, meaning that if a person has been "tainted" by even one drop of Black blood, then that person is Black, pure and simple.  Extrapolate that further to mean that that person is inferior to a White person.  I have never understood why a person would bake in the sun to get darker than I am naturally, yet feel superior to me because of the color of my skin...wha'??? Okay, I digressed there, sorry, but I remember how as a kid that it just blew my mind that I had to go in the side door and sit in the balcony at the theater because I was "colored" but deeply tanned White girls who looked more colored than I did were privileged to go in the front door and sit in the "good" seats.

We were discussing post-racialism...doesn't exist, and oh, how I wish that it did.  As a thinking human being, I just don't get this "Us" vs. "Them" mentality on either side of the aisle.  We're people, and to paraphrase Rodney King's question from all of those years ago, why can't we just all get along?  Stop being afraid that someone else is going to have a bigger piece of the pie than you are.  And that's what I believe it's all about...Fear (False Evidence Appearing Real).  The pie is H-U-G-E and there is enough to go around; and besides, your mouth and stomach can only hold so much at one time.  The Law of Abundance will operate quite well if we but let it, and the kitchen where that pie is baked never shuts down.

So let's each of us put on our big girl panties/boxers/briefs and begin some honest dialogue with other human beings and have that uncomfortable, even hated discussion about race and treating each other with human dignity and see how much better we can do.  Let's become a part of the solution so that generations down the line won't be fighting this same battle.

Peace out.

Blinded By The Tooth

Some people have taken the term "dazzingly white" to terrible extremes; to the extent that my eyes smart on a regular basis.  Granted, I do have naturally white teeth, for which I am glad, but if I were in the market for whiter teeth, I like to think that I would not assume that getting them whitened to within an inch of their healthy enamel would be the way to go.

I remember reading someplace that when wearing a white shirt, choose a shade of white (yes, white comes in different levels of gradations) that is no whiter than the whites of your eyes -- kind of forgets about those whose eyes are closer to yellow...we'll attack that on another day.  So if you should choose a white shirt that is no whiter than that of your eyes, I'm suggesting that all of you who want to whiten your teeth (no judgment, here) adhere to the same maxim.

Question:  Do dentists charge more for the truly unnaturally (and scarily) white they make your teeth?  Look, save yourself a few duckets and buy Crest Whitestrips. Not only will you not have to sell your children/pets/spouse/siblings/parents... to pay the dentist, but you will look so much more attractive when your teeth aren't blinding people like a 3,000 watt halogen spotlight.

I've been asking the air around me this question about this obsessive teeth whitening for quite some time, and I guess the tipping point that engendered this piece of my opinion was seeing Chris Cuomo's (CNN) super-white choppers this morning. After shading my eyes, myself asked me "when is white too white?" so I thought I'd just put it out there.  Yes, there are more serious  issues going on in the world, but sometimes things get stuck in my head and they just scream to get out.  I'll bet I'm not the only one.

Happy and healthy smiles to you.

Cutting That Thirst With Gluten-Free Beer!

Hiya. Just a quickie to tell you about Bard's Gluten-free Beer. For those of us with Celiac Disease or other gluten sensitivity issues, so very much has been taken away from us, but I have discovered the aforementioned beer and it is gooood! Have tried some others and they didn't make the grade, but Bard's has obviously worked on their formula so that their gluten-free beer measures up to the high standards of their regular beer.

And while I'm on the subject, let me tell you about a gluten-free cosmetic brand  that I have found to make a huge difference in the comfort (and attendant health) of my belly -- juicebeauty.com.  Juice Beauty has marvelous skin care products, though they only have a few color cosmetics. Give them a try, and though you might spend a few more dollars, what price do you really want to put on your health?  (Rhetorical question )

For all of you who aren't interested in having false lashes glued onto your eyes, but want the lush look, check out They're Real mascara by Benefits. Not only will your lashes have that thick, thick, thicker and long, long, longer look,  if your eyes are sensitive you will be pleasantly surprised to find such a superbly performing product that doesn't make you suffer, as striving for beauty is often purported to do.

Go well, and stay fabulous!

Can a Little Twerk Fight a Lupus Flare?

Okay. Yesterday's blogpost might have been a little bit of a downer, but...it is what it is. However, my grandson (@AlvintheBlessin) is fond of the saying, "It is what it is, but it can be what you make it." Another smart one in my line of descendants, yes?

So. Today, I am relying on my "Go To," which is music and dancing.  I am a total freak over www.rhapsody.com and have created some playlists that get me in the groove and past the dark and twisty place. I might have trouble walking in a straight line or driving my car without crashing into a tree (yes, I actually did that), but my music can take me to a place where Lupus is far in the background of my life, and my body exists and moves in its own Dance Galaxy. Isn't that exciting and amazing?!  Now I can't see myself when I'm in my Dance Galaxy, so don't know if I look like a puppet from one of Stephen King's imaginings, but  it makes me happy, so I'm gonna keep doing it for as long as I can.  It's nice to have a place to go when the world looks so very bleak. So for today, let's dance! Twerk, Monkey, ShingaLing, Krump, Mashed Potatoes, whatever floats your boat. Just do what makes you feel good.

My very favorites right now:  Return of the Mack by Mark Morrison *****
                                                Jump by Carmen Ejogo
                                                Stay With Me by Sam Smith
                                                Wanna Be on Your Mind by Valerie June 
                                                 Cleo's Back by Jr. Walker and the Allstars
                                                 Let's Dance by Chris Montez
                                                 Groovin' by The Young Rascals

As you know, I cannot dance on and on physically, but in my head, my energy is completely limitless and I can dance on into infinity.  Glorious!

You are invited...the dance floor is ready and waiting!

Go well, and stay fabulous!