Another Short

DeConstructing The Smile

As Maria's brain was eased into consciousess by sunbeams fighting their way past the grime that probably held the windowpanes together, she rolled over and hung her head over the bed as her fingers grabbed for the pitiful, pitted basin on the floor... Up came a nasty mix of rum, wine and the gods knew what all else.  When she was empty, she wanted to hurl the mess against the wall, but that only meant she'd have to clean it up herself, so she set the basin softy down and eased over onto her back, butt-scooting away from the edge of the bed.

Maria had wandered into this inn after she had run away from her dull existence in the country.  Her family life was safe, secure and her elderly parents doted on her, but she was dying of boredom; or so she had thought.  So, she scribbled the few words she knew how to spell on a note and hitched a ride on a passing oxcart in the middle of a brilliantly beautiful day.  But she had exchanged one type of boredom for another; exchanged fresh, clean air and deliciously prepared food for fetidness and tasteless slop.

As she lay on the rough, stained and rumpled sheet, she replayed the previous years that had found what she thought would be freedom in her escape to the big city, become a prison, as she debased herself with the assistance of helpful city dwellers.  Five long years that had passed in the blink of an eye. 

But, oh, she had become very, very good at what she did.  Not only did she entertain the coarsest of men (and a few women), but she was often secreted into the bedrooms of highbrow customers, as well.  On this day, Maria chose to escape her present life, just as she had chosen when she left the farm.  She had a barely formed plan to travel to the other side of the country.  She knew that her newly formed wits would guide her forward...

                      *******************************

"Oh, look at that enigmatic smile on such a poised and sweet-looking young woman."  Maria, aka DaVinci's Mona Lisa, enjoys the joke she's playing, as she overhears this comment over and over.

Keep Your Dreams Alive

We sometimes speak of dreaming a new dream...but is it a new dream we should be after, or the grit and guts to do whatever it takes to realize the dream we already hold in our hearts?

If we continually abandon one dream in search of a new one, then we are in a continuous state of running away. "Cut and run" is one colloquial term that I can recall.

No; I urge you to hold on to that dream that makes your heart shiver and your stomach flutter.  Seek and you shall find.  Knock and the door will be opened.  Jesus was nothing if not a pragmatist.

Go well.

"Attitude is the mind's paintbrush; it can color any situation."
                              --Barbara Johnson

The Art of Reinvention, Part 3

How's it going for you?  Have you made your outline following the questions that I posed previously; and have you begun your journey in actuality or are you living it out in your head first?

For some of us, working things out in our minds is what gives us comfort and the confidence to actually begin the task. Everyone has their own method of accomplishing their work.  Then again, for others of us, saying that we're working it out in our heads first is just a way for us to procrastinate and avoid taking action; so be honest with yourself.  Remember, there's no shame in asking for help.  I would venture to say that most things of great import require a little assistance; in the arena of moral support, if nothing else.

Please allow me to reiterate that a reinvention does not necessarily mean a huge or grandiose change.  It can be just a tweaking of the way that you think about issues; or choosing to broaden your horizons or expand your mind.  One of my favorite (para) phrases is, "If you don't like the road you're on, make yourself a new road."  That thought comes from the late Mrs. Annie Johnson of Stamps, Arkansas, who was the grandmother of the late (and fantastic!) Dr. Maya Angelou. In choosing to change her current circumstances, Mrs. Johnson said that she looked up the road and down the road, and since she didn't like either one, she decided to make herself a new road.  Now, although the term was probably not in vogue at the time, what Mrs. Annie Johnson did was practice the art of reinvention, and she achieved great success with that decision.  It took hard work and dedication on her part, but she decided what she wanted and she went after it.

My current venture in reinvention concerns the way I think about aging.  I never thought that I would have a problem with getting older, but then I don't think any of us really give it any real thought until we wake up and realize that not only are not twenty-five anymore, we're not even forty-five.  We look in the mirror and although we still look good, we definitely look older, and in a culture where youth is the end-all, be-all, it's very easy to allow a low-level panic to set in.  Then comes breaking the bank to buy all the following skin creams:  anti-wrinkle, anti-sag, pore minimizer, skin tone balancer, complexion brightener, collagen replenisher, etc., etc.  Yep, been there, done that, even as I pretended that I really wasn't bothered -- otherwise known as denial.  And it's not just the face...there's the body that decides to do its own thing.  Yes, gravity is real. (You can fight it with hard work, though... 77-yr old bodybuilder, Ernestine Shepherd)

The good news is that I finally admitted that I was having a problem about looking older (actually getting older is a great thing considering the alternative!) and my therapist pointed me to a very helpful, insightful, and humorous book, "Getting Over Getting Older," by Letty Cottin Pogrebin.  I admit that I read through it halfway and thought I had my problem licked.  Not so, although I'm happy to report that I'm now where I was when I began the process.  I now keep the book in plain view because it will be a reference book for another minute or two, I do believe.  I have made some progress on the body front, too, and have become more comfortable with (sometimes) allowing my curves to be free of constricting shapewear.  Honestly, some of those garments are bound (no pun intended) to fuse two or more organs together!

You always want to keep in mind that when you consider reinventing yourself, it's not something to be taken lightly and attempted just for its own sake.  Change for the sake of change is never a good idea.  What do you want to change and why?  Is the reason true and honest?  Is the considered change for you or for someone else?  Even if the change is something that does need to happen, if you haven't embraced it for yourself and are instead attempting to placate someone else, you won't achieve real and lasting success.

One more thing...

                                 "Where the mind goes, the behind follows."  --  Randolph Wilkerson

Apps Worth Having

If you are already addicted to your smartphone, perhaps I should apologize for adding something else for you to obsess over...?  Check out these apps:

• Sleep Cycle -- this app measures the quality of your sleep, gives you time spent in bed per night, and after five nights, keeps a running tab of the number of nights, weeks, and average nightly hours. It shows what time you went to bed and what time you arose. My favorite feature is the wake up phase because your alarm wakes you softly when you are in your lightest sleep state so that you aren't jarred awake.  And yes, you can choose to set an alarm from your music library, as well as choosing random alarm sounds.  Cost:  .99

• SpanishDict -- This app helps you learn Spanish with word of the day, which you can explore with the illustration of conjugation and demonstration of phrases using the word, and you can choose to listen to the correct pronunciation; has a vocabulary word game; phrasebook with different categories; i.e., greetings, directions, shopping, restaurants, etc. This app is FREE.

• Public Radio Player -- If you enjoy Public Radio, this app exposes you to a great many programs covering a myriad of subjects from public radio stations across the country.  Two really interesting programs I've discovered are "HowSound," and "RadioLab."                            This app is FREE. 

 

Smooth Melody

Her name is Yuna, a beautiful Malaysian songstress... 
The music this young lady puts down is smooth enough to allow you to have it playing even as you concentrate on other tasks, including studying. The instrumentation is Ready...this is music, ladies and gents.  Enjoy.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3baQwUrTxzE

Condolence

Native American Poem of Condolences

I give you this one thought to keep -- I am 

with you still -- I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond

glints on the snow, I am the sunlight on ripened

grain, I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush, I am

the swift, uplifting rush of quiet birds in

circled flight, I am the soft stars that

shine at night.

Do not think of me as gone -- I am with you still --

in each new dawn.

Relationships

"Friends"

When we fell lost and alone

When we feel weak and worthless

When we feel abandoned, betrayed,

and without hope

It's such a blessing to have a

Friend.

Unity

"Us"

Humans marvel and exclaim wonder at no two snowflakes

being exactly alike.

Where, then, is that splendid awe

when no two people

are exactly the same?

The Art of Reinvention, Part 2

As previously discussed, in order to become more of who you are meant to be, the essential questions must be asked and answered.  Then you have to get moving because nothing happens by itself.

It is frightening to contemplate change, even a change for the better, because after all, it's still an unknown and we fear what we don't know.  But we can get it done with a little bit of determination and chutzpah.  This is your change, but it's okay to ask for help.  Just make sure you ask in the right quarter.  Remember the third question I asked in Part I: "What will you lose (and whom)...?"  There will be someone, or maybe two or three someones who will gladly obstruct your path as you work to uncover more of who you really are.  You see, some people aren't going to want you to become more because they will interpret your moreness as somehow making them less than.  Keep your eyes open and cut those folks loose, or at the very least feed them from a long-handled spoon.  Whether you change or remain the same, you always need people in your life who have your best interest at heart.  As the late Dr. Maya Angelou said, "When people tell you who they are, believe them...the first time."

If you think that you need help in finding direction and settling your ideas down, you might consider a life coach.  If you live in a major city, the local yellow pages are a resource; otherwise, search online at www.yellowpages.com and enter a larger city to which you would be willing to travel.  Bear in mind that some life coaches list themselves as counselors because they usually offer other services as well.  Whomever you choose will be working for you as well as with you, so make sure it's a good fit; and if it isn't, continue your search.  If you have trouble quitting people, remind yourself that this person is a professional whom you are paying, and not a friend or relative.  This can be a good exercise to help you build up that surgical muscle so that any future necessary dis-entanglements of the personal kind can be accomplished a little more easily.

Is your desired reinvention based on your physical appearance?  Do you hate your thighs or think that your gluteus has too much maximus?  Sometimes, we can be can be too self-critical when it comes to our own bodies; and sometimes we allow the opinions of others to dictate how we think that we should look.  If you decide that there truly is a need to change your physical appearance, maintaining it will still require an inside change.  You'll want to acquaint yourself with people who are where you want to be, and learn their habits and the tricks they use to discipline themselves because discipline is what helps you to win every time.  Just make sure the people you choose to emulate are in possession of the attributes that would make you feel great pride and self-confidence in yourself.  Make sure there is some substance there.

And remember:

To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.  --Unknown