Keep Your Dreams Alive

We sometimes speak of dreaming a new dream...but is it a new dream we should be after, or the grit and guts to do whatever it takes to realize the dream we already hold in our hearts?

If we continually abandon one dream in search of a new one, then we are in a continuous state of running away. "Cut and run" is one colloquial term that I can recall.

No; I urge you to hold on to that dream that makes your heart shiver and your stomach flutter.  Seek and you shall find.  Knock and the door will be opened.  Jesus was nothing if not a pragmatist.

Go well.

"Attitude is the mind's paintbrush; it can color any situation."
                              --Barbara Johnson

The Art of Reinvention, Part 3

How's it going for you?  Have you made your outline following the questions that I posed previously; and have you begun your journey in actuality or are you living it out in your head first?

For some of us, working things out in our minds is what gives us comfort and the confidence to actually begin the task. Everyone has their own method of accomplishing their work.  Then again, for others of us, saying that we're working it out in our heads first is just a way for us to procrastinate and avoid taking action; so be honest with yourself.  Remember, there's no shame in asking for help.  I would venture to say that most things of great import require a little assistance; in the arena of moral support, if nothing else.

Please allow me to reiterate that a reinvention does not necessarily mean a huge or grandiose change.  It can be just a tweaking of the way that you think about issues; or choosing to broaden your horizons or expand your mind.  One of my favorite (para) phrases is, "If you don't like the road you're on, make yourself a new road."  That thought comes from the late Mrs. Annie Johnson of Stamps, Arkansas, who was the grandmother of the late (and fantastic!) Dr. Maya Angelou. In choosing to change her current circumstances, Mrs. Johnson said that she looked up the road and down the road, and since she didn't like either one, she decided to make herself a new road.  Now, although the term was probably not in vogue at the time, what Mrs. Annie Johnson did was practice the art of reinvention, and she achieved great success with that decision.  It took hard work and dedication on her part, but she decided what she wanted and she went after it.

My current venture in reinvention concerns the way I think about aging.  I never thought that I would have a problem with getting older, but then I don't think any of us really give it any real thought until we wake up and realize that not only are not twenty-five anymore, we're not even forty-five.  We look in the mirror and although we still look good, we definitely look older, and in a culture where youth is the end-all, be-all, it's very easy to allow a low-level panic to set in.  Then comes breaking the bank to buy all the following skin creams:  anti-wrinkle, anti-sag, pore minimizer, skin tone balancer, complexion brightener, collagen replenisher, etc., etc.  Yep, been there, done that, even as I pretended that I really wasn't bothered -- otherwise known as denial.  And it's not just the face...there's the body that decides to do its own thing.  Yes, gravity is real. (You can fight it with hard work, though... 77-yr old bodybuilder, Ernestine Shepherd)

The good news is that I finally admitted that I was having a problem about looking older (actually getting older is a great thing considering the alternative!) and my therapist pointed me to a very helpful, insightful, and humorous book, "Getting Over Getting Older," by Letty Cottin Pogrebin.  I admit that I read through it halfway and thought I had my problem licked.  Not so, although I'm happy to report that I'm now where I was when I began the process.  I now keep the book in plain view because it will be a reference book for another minute or two, I do believe.  I have made some progress on the body front, too, and have become more comfortable with (sometimes) allowing my curves to be free of constricting shapewear.  Honestly, some of those garments are bound (no pun intended) to fuse two or more organs together!

You always want to keep in mind that when you consider reinventing yourself, it's not something to be taken lightly and attempted just for its own sake.  Change for the sake of change is never a good idea.  What do you want to change and why?  Is the reason true and honest?  Is the considered change for you or for someone else?  Even if the change is something that does need to happen, if you haven't embraced it for yourself and are instead attempting to placate someone else, you won't achieve real and lasting success.

One more thing...

                                 "Where the mind goes, the behind follows."  --  Randolph Wilkerson

Smooth Melody

Her name is Yuna, a beautiful Malaysian songstress... 
The music this young lady puts down is smooth enough to allow you to have it playing even as you concentrate on other tasks, including studying. The instrumentation is Ready...this is music, ladies and gents.  Enjoy.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3baQwUrTxzE

Condolence

Native American Poem of Condolences

I give you this one thought to keep -- I am 

with you still -- I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond

glints on the snow, I am the sunlight on ripened

grain, I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush, I am

the swift, uplifting rush of quiet birds in

circled flight, I am the soft stars that

shine at night.

Do not think of me as gone -- I am with you still --

in each new dawn.

Relationships

"Friends"

When we fell lost and alone

When we feel weak and worthless

When we feel abandoned, betrayed,

and without hope

It's such a blessing to have a

Friend.

Unity

"Us"

Humans marvel and exclaim wonder at no two snowflakes

being exactly alike.

Where, then, is that splendid awe

when no two people

are exactly the same?

One Of The Faces of The Wolf (Lupus)

Every Autumn since I was diagnosed with Lupus, I have suffered from at least one bout of bronchitis, so when Autumn came and went with no undue respiratory distress, I thought:  Hey Girl, you got away clean!  But then. Winter comes in and on Christmas Day ugly things began to happen.  

Fast forward to today, two months later, and I am finally coming out of the Bronchitis From Hell, with the assistance of three rounds of antibiotics and a round of corticosteroids. But. I am now contending with Pleurisy, which is a bronchial condition common among those with Lupus.

I have been confined to my home except to go to doctor visits, and each time I left my house, I felt like I'd been let out of prison! Orange Is The New Black Reloaded, that was me! If I'd had my six-gun, I would've been shooting and disturbing the peace until Marshal Dillon rode up to haul my sweet *ss to jail.

I am once again feeling like a human bean, thank the good Lord because one can only lie around the house watching movies and reading for just so long, when it's not by choice.  I had to lie/sit around because I had absolutely no energy due to the bronchitis causing the Lupus to rear her head and bare her fangs, then run rampant telling my immune system to attack every single cell in sight, not just the malevolent, foreign ones. Most of you know your immune systems to be your friends. In a person with Lupus, the immune system is the enemy.

I fully intend to be out and among the rest of the human race in a few days, so if you have any kind of anything, or if you even think that you might be getting something, please don't even look in my direction.  Let me enjoy freedom again, PLEASE!

The Art of Reinvention, Part 1

(I authored this series [Pts 1-5] for Osiris Magazine in 2010)

 
Why reinvent yourself?  Isn't that a bit of a daunting task? And how will you know when the task is complete? What will you lose (and whom); and what is to be gained?

With all of those questions to be answered, are you tired already and ready to quit before you begin? Take heart and breathe...it's not as hard as all that. We're going to eat this particular elephant one bite at a time.

Reinvention is happening all across America, and perhaps the world, because the state of the economy has so altered the status quo. The terrain has changed so drastically, and what was once a fairly straight path in whatever chosen career or chosen lifestyle has become a path that zigs and zags.

For some of us, it's a very scary reality. For others, it's the chance of a lifetime -- a chance to venture down the road not taken, that perhaps you were discouraged from exploring before because it wasn't "practical".

So, let's look at this reinvention rationally and begin to dissect it in as painless a way as possible.  Now I know that there are those who might be a little (or a lot) skeptical that this can actually work for you and possibly turn out to be an absolutely marvelous change in your life.  I'm asking yo to just keep somewhat of an open mind.

As human beings, we tap into a very, very small portion (approximately ten percent) of our abilities and capabilities during our lifetimes. Now many of us are being forced to see what else we can accomplish. Yes, you are much greater than you have given yourself credit for. You can accomplish what the Universe has set aside for only you. No one else can do what the Universe and God has decreed that you do, because only you are perfectly equipped for it.

Have you ever taken the time to list the things that you have a great affinity for? It doesn't matter if someone else thinks it's stupid. This is about you, not them. Let them concentrate on their own list (or not), but don't allow someone else to derail you. This is your life for you to live.

Alright. Can you find or create a niche that would enable you to make a living and a life doing that for which you have a true affinity and in which you find marvelous delight? If the answer is no, that's okay -- don't throw in the towel...because this thing speaks to your heart, and you might just have to pursue it on the side and accept heart payment for a little while; and that's good, because paying your heart is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

If you were to see yourself pursuing this work of the heart full time, what would you look like pursuing it? What would you wear? How would your hair be styled (or not)? Would it be a solitary venture or would you spend a lot of time with other people; and if the latter, what kind of people would you choose to share your space? Where do you see yourself pursuing this dream? These are the kinds of questions to answer as you move toward your reinvention.

No, they aren't lightweight questions, are they? You want heavy questions so that you can make the very best of tapping into this other facet of who you are, for even though the conventional term is reinvention, it's really just revealing more of who you already are and releasing that more into the world.

Okay -- we have a place to begin, so let's get busy. We'll explore this further next session, and in the meantime I would like to leave you with this:

One of the greatest feelings in life is the conviction that you lived the life you wanted to live -- with the rough and the smooth, the good and the bad -- but yours, shaped by your own choices, and not someone else's. _____Michael Ignatieff

Losing a Child

Can you imagine losing a child; as in a child who is in your care goes missing?  
 I'm reading a novel about that very thing. It's entitled "Year of Fog," and a seven year-old girl, who is in the care of the fiancee goes missing when the attention of the fiancee is diverted for what she perceives to be only a few seconds. 

This is a fictional story, but what if..?  It would be bad enough to lose your own child like that; but somebody else's child?! Oh, hell, no. What would you do? Tell me. It is so hard for me to even go to that place.  Then, I reflect on the number of children whom I see neglected by their parents in stores on a regular basis. In a split second, a predator could swoop a little one up and be gone, while the parent is perusing the clothing racks or what-have-you. I have seen mothers try to reason with a three year-old by wheedling; i.e., "Now, what have I told you about staying by me?" And immediately after the wheedle, the kid runs off again; so out comes another wheedle. Honey, it's time to just snatch that little rascal up and let him know exactly what's what.

Parents, please stop being scared of your children and/or treating them like small adults.   are responsible for their well-being.  They are in your charge, and if you really love them, you will do whatever is necessary to keep them safe. Too many parents are afraid that their children will not love them if the child is disciplined. People, please! How will your children learn if you don't teach them? And by discipline, I don't mean that you take a big stick to them. Get out the dictionary and look up the word discipline. It is not synonymous with beating; nor is it synonymous with punishment. However, punishment should not be a bad word, because sometimes your child needs to be punished, so that she learns that actions have consequences. And if one of your kids has the audacity to threaten you with 911, then you might want to consider going Madea on their behind so that they will know not to EVER even think about uttering those words to you again. And I'm sure Madea wouldn't mind if you keep her on speed dial.