Restoring Our Young People

NOTE: This is an essay I wrote many years ago, and I find it to be still relevant today. What are your thoughts?



Once upon a time long, long ago, children were to be seen and not heard. A bit harsh maybe, but you can bet your sweet patootie there were no kids telling their mamas and papas what they weren't going to do.

A little time went by, and the sweet darlings were no longer required to be mute, but it was still the stringent policy of speak when you are spoken to. Yet again though, children exhibited acceptable manners and civility. So far, so good.

More time passed, and children began to be encouraged to participate in conversations as a part of their learning to navigate the ever enlarging world in which they would need to move. The youngsters still were admonished to stay out of grown folks' conversations. (If you're of a certain age, you probably remember that phrase with smiling fondness.) We wanted our children to be erudite and confident in themselves, but there was still a loose tether to keep them from getting too big for their britches, though.

And then I woke up one morning, and a mother was sharing with me that her nine year-old was telling old her what she, the child, would and would not wear. The mother was so distraught and told me that she didn't know how to handle the situation. I was speechless for about half a second before I asked that mother who was the parent and who was the child? That incident opened my eyes and ears, and I realized that the inmates had begun to run the asylum! We had somehow allowed ourselves to believe the idiocy put forth by experts (who had no children) that discipline infringed upon a child's creativity and expression. I think that the parents rather than the children were the true subjects of that experiment...to see how gullible and just how far afield we would go. Responsible parenting is hard work, and it feels good to be able to lay down a heavy load; and that's all well and good, but the parents forgot and/or chose not to pick the heavy load of good parenting back up again.

Well, we're long past reigning it in time, now. We have babies having babies on a regular basis; and parents trying to be best friends with their children and gain the child's approval. Say, what?! Being an effective parent is no walk in the park, and sometimes you feel that your children don't like you... So? Look, there are enough kids of the appropriate age for your child to be best friends with; that is not your role. If you need a friend, join a bowling league, go to church, or hang out with the co-workers whom you like, after office hours once or twice a month. Let's once again begin parenting so that our children can read at or above grade level. Have you ever considered how deeply ashamed a child who has a high school diploma, yet cannot read, is? That bravado they display is false, and something as elemental as being able to read can stir a positive spark that can lead a child away from the feeling of hopelessness that allows the deplorable state of kids killing kids with no compunction, whatsoever.

Your children are not on loan to you for you to try to be their friend, or to treat them as little adults (that means you don't curse your children out because they display childlike behavior). Your parental assignment is to raise them and teach them. Yes, shower them with love, but also include a healthy dose of discipline so that they will be equipped to become productive and proud members of society.

If we remember what real parenting is, we won't have to worry so much about preteen and teenage abortions. Getting patted down and not being allowed a purse on visitor's day at the prison won't be an integral part of the parenting experience. Unscheduled and unwelcome visits to the funeral parlor because yet another child was gunned down or beaten by peers will no longer be a common occurrence.

Sometimes it's difficult to put the jack back into the box, but there are times when it's more than worth the effort. Yes, reigning it in is long past due, but I refuse to believe that it's too late. We have lost so many children; let's make the choice that losing our children because we refused to do the hard thing is no longer an option.

Flight of the Wolf

Book Review: "The Womb Has Ears, Baby Talk Book 2" by Mike Wells

Neal is the father of baby Natasha, who at five months of age is talking and scaring the bejeesus out of her father.
After the baby caused a car crash that resulted in a critical injury to her mother, who is now in a coma and eventually succumbs to her injuries, Neal has to take the baby home and be alone with her. He is not happy, but is psyching himself up and thinking that if he just pretends that his baby is normal, then so be it.

Wrong. His brilliant idea is to call his mother-in-law to come and get the baby; then he will be free. However, Baby Natasha gets her daddy stitched up for the murder of the mother-in-law and Neal is hauled off to the insane asylum because he keeps yelling that the baby is Satan and that she killed his mother-in-law and is responsible for his wife's death.

Evil baby. And she's been here before; and before; and before. Just think of personas of pure evil...could they really have been baby Natasha?

This book is so good, and you'll find yourself feeling guilty for laughing when poor Neal is trying so hard to hold on to his sanity. Make sure you read Book 1, for the total experience.

#Me Too Can Be a Snowball to Hell

Sexual harassment is as old as the oldest profession, and we all should stand behind and support true victims; but you and I both know that some of these claims are downright lies, whether they be uttered for revenge, or for the sick and twisted reason that the woman is sick and twisted and this is her way of being "close" to a guy.
My question is this: When it's a he said - she said, how do you know who's telling the truth? I expect people to be truthful, but in such a situation, I want to be sure that I'm coming down on the side of right.
Alright, don't jump down my throat and say I'm victim blaming; I believe this is a subject worth being thought about with real seriousness. We don't want this to be a fad that shows up for a minute or two, then flows on down the river as so many other campaigns have done.
As a woman, feel empowered to claim your own space and your own body. If someone is doing or saying anything to make you feel uncomfortable, tell them to "back the f*** up" and mean it. Claim what is rightfully yours, and do so with no apology. You owe it to yourself to declare your worth. As Dr. Phil says, "you teach others how to treat you" (by what you accept).
For you men out there, if you need to, change your mindset; and if you're not sure if what you're doing or saying is appropriate, then restrain yourself. Yes, I know that some women give mixed signals, but you're a big boy and you can choose to be in charge of your behavior. Always choose to err on the side of caution.

TED talk: How Dementia Changed One Woman's View of Death

How my dad's dementia changed my perception of death: https://t.co/W2bROEoeeH pic.twitter.com/70CnH6zQQL

— TED Talks (@TEDTalks) November 28, 2017