Shapewear (Spanx, et al)

How many of you are being squoze to death with Spanx and other manner of the latest torture to our bodies in the quest to appear flawless?  I spent entirely too much money on a pair of Spanx and nearly gave myself a hernia and an appendectomy trying to stuff myself into them. Then, when I was encased like a sausage -- you got it -- other parts of me kinda overflowed, so the whole exercise was pointless. Guess some of us need shapewear that covers like a burkha, huh?  

Well, I have good news! Put on a pair of bike shorts! (Mine are by Champion.) Not only do they comfortably control and smooth out any little imperfections, but they do double duty by preventing chafing of the thighs in hot, humid weather!  Now you can cross the worry about damaging your internal organs off your list.  Oh, joy!