Legal Drug Addiction

Before I became concerned that I was becoming a little  too happy with my pain pills and quit going to the Pain Clinic  to which I had been referred  because of unremitting and chronic pain, I always referred to my appointments as  a date with my drug dealer.

I used that description because my prescriptions were always ready and waiting for me when I arrived...before we even had a discussion on how I was managing my pain!  And we are just now deciding to have a discussion on the painkiller problem in this country?! Talk about shutting the barn door after the livestock has taken off...

Somehow, we decided that being an addict wasn't really all that bad if the drugs came in a bottle with our names on them and signed off by someone with an M.D. behind their name.  Uh...wrong answer.  Then look at our kids. They see Mom and Dad sucking down opiates like vitamins so of course that becomes the go-to answer for them when they have any type of challenge or they just become bored with their current lives and want to enter an altered states.  Now, I won't lie and say that I sometimes prefer an altered state because after all, who really wants to walk around as a 127 pound ball of pain; so I do understand.

I eventually went back on the opiates because the pain just insists on being a part of my life, but I have chosen to stick with my regular clinic because the dosage is regulated by the Army, and there is a maximum number of milligrams per pill.  When I need more than what is prescribed, I just have to suck it up like a good Airborne soldier and tell myself to just work on getting through one more minute.

I fully realize that what I've done sounds easy. It wasn't a walk in the park, but it wasn't that difficult because I decided that I didn't want to identify myself as a drug addict and that I could make the choice while I still had enough strength to do something about it.  Some people are further gone than I was, but where there is still life, there is always hope; and I firmly believe that there is always someone out there who is willing to help you to get to where you want to/need to go.

Lastly, please don't judge us for wanting to live a pain-free life, even when we end up in much deeper water than we ever would have imagined. Have some empathy and learn what you can, then do what you can to help, one person at a time.